TELLING
I
want to shout from the mountain top
What was done in darkness.
The secrets, buried and hushed,
Have been spoken out loud.
I
broke the sound barrier!
I've soared to new heights,
To places I thought impossible to reach.
Did you hear the echo of my sonic boom?
AH,
WOMAN
Ah,
Woman,
I know what I have lost.
No more to lie next to you,
To snuggle into your bosom,
To nurse at your sweet breast.
I cannot be soothed and nurtured.
At least,
No longer in that way.
You
do not caress my face,
And hair,
My brow no longer feels
Your touch.
I am lonely,
Cold,
Afraid,
Alone.
I
want to hear your heartbeat's rhythm,
Lullabying me to sleep.
I
am just your child,
And sometimes,
You are mine.
I protect you and console
As I enfold you
In the downy comfort of my quilt-soft
Hugs.
My
hands reach for you,
And entwine securely.
I
am invincible
I feel safe, assured,
Understood.
I
find my body
Aroused by these emotions.
My breathing deepens
As I smell the perfume of you.
Perspiration glistens
As morning dew
On the petal of a fragile flower.
So
much of this feels right,
So much of it feels wrong.
I live between
Longing and having,
Fantasies and reality.
Like similar poles on a magnet,
We should be repelled,
Not drawn to one another.
It is opposites that attract.
And
yet I feel drawn to you,
Enchanted by your love.
My
affections were misplaced,
But not lost.
I have surrendered freely.
Of my own volition
I have chosen to let go.
Yes,
Woman, I know,
I know ......
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CHAIN
REACTION
Chains
wrap around me
Like a funeral shroud.
Their clanking as I move
Makes a mournful dirge -
Symphony of sadness
Scratching in my ears.
Iron against iron
Crosses my heart, wants me to die.
Weight crushing my soul
Shuddering inside.
Break
them away,
Unbolt the locks,
Pound through steel.
No!
Don't do it,
My soul screams.
Freedom frightens me.
Unfettered, I'd fall to the ground
Splintered into chards
Of Gold and crystal.
Fetters that smother
And oppress
Hold me fast,
Keep me together,
Secure.
They bind my wounds
In spite of me
Undoing them
Will undo me.
O
LORD,
LET ME IN THEE ABIDE
O
Lord, Let me in Thee abide
When the devil stands near
and I quiver with fear,
When I want to
run and hide
I still know you're by my side
Safe in Thee, Lord, let me abide.
I long for peace in my soul
Come my Savior, make me whole
As the potter shapes the clay
Make me stronger every day,
O Lord, let me in Thee abide.
My heart is in despair
when I feel you do not care
Though my tears make me blind
And there's answers I can't find,
O Lord, Let me in Thee abide.
Grief seems to be unending
and the prayers that I am sending
seem to fall away and vanish like the dew
Still you know my greatest loss
Give me victory by Thy cross,
O Lord, Let me abide in you.
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PHANTOM
I don't
know you
And never want to meet you
Even though I long for you
Because you left me
Before I was able to see you
I always
looked at you
Yet, I never understood you
So I thought of you
Even though you're not there
No
name, no face
But a body and a heart
You almost fulfill my desire
But you hide and disappear
So
I think again
Of you and me
And how I long for you
Even though you don't exist
And I hope you never will
Go
away my phantom
Don't fulfill my dreams
They'd be nightmares
If we'd meet
So
die
Or vanish
All, but be near
You
lie to me
You lie next to me
Even though it seems so sweet
So unbelievable fulfilling
I point to the exit
Exodus,
Exodus
Phantom, let my feelings go!
You slave master of emotions
You burden me
Send
those plagues, my Savior
Or it won't let go
Plague it with truth
Put it to flight with waves of oil
Oil of your lamp
Shine and expose.
©
P. Jan. 22, 2006 (a woman struggler)
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